Dale Scott’s career as a Major League umpire included three World Series, three All-Star Games, six League Championship Series, twelve Division Series, and more than ninety postseason games. He lives in Palm Springs, California, with Michael, his husband, and their yellow Lab, Wylie. Rob Neyer serves as commissioner of the West Coast League and has written or cowritten seven books, including Power Ball: Anatomy of a Modern Baseball Game. Billy Bean (1964–2024) was vice president and special assistant to the commissioner of Major League Baseball.

List of Illustrations
Foreword by Billy Bean
1. Nutcutters, Polebenders, and Shithouses
2. Eugene
3. Playing the Game
4. “You Were Terrible!”
5. “He’s That Blind SOB”
6. Only in the Dominican
7. Getting the Call
8. When Sparky Quit Chewing
9. “Mike, Your Mom Is Blasting Me”
10. Sophomore Slump
11. For the Last Time
12. “I Can Put Two and Two Together”
13. TK
14. Hardly the First
15. “What Do You Mean, Colorful?”
16. Nolan and George
17. Hello Again, Boss
18. Jeffrey Who?
19. A Long Way from Bradenton
20. “What Flavor Was the Kool-Aid?”
21. W.
22. Like a Human Blood Clot
23. “Hell Has Frozen Over”
24. “Hey, Lou, You Missed a Spot”
25. “I Am the Walrus”
26. Postseason from Hell
27. Get the Hell Out of the Way
28. From Frank’s Friendly to Jimmy Fallon
29. Flip
30. “I Can’t Believe This Is Happening Again”
31. No Complaints, No Regrets
Acknowledgments
Appendix
Index